


I, am yours.

by BlakesRus



Category: Barchie - Fandom, Riverdale - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Archie Andrews Loves Betty Cooper, Arguing, Confessions, Did I Mention Angst?, Hurt Archie, Kinda canon, Kinda not, Minor Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Minor Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Pining, Song writing, They both need a Hug, Video Tapes, a little fluff, being exposed, bestfriends to lovers, betty cooper & archie andrews - Freeform, betty cooper loves archie andrews, bunker meetings, cheryl x betty being actual friends, hurt Betty, just read it, loosing eachother, lots of talking, mentions of 4x17, my take on 4x18, slowburn, super slowburn, timeless lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:08:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlakesRus/pseuds/BlakesRus
Summary: My take on 4x18, plenty of talking & figuring out feelings. Lots of angst, and crying. Kinda canon kinda not.~ Betty and Archie meet in the bunker to discuss where to go from here, there's some soul searching, some revelations, plenty of angst. ~
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper
Comments: 17
Kudos: 30





	I, am yours.

Some how they found themselves shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow on top of the small, dishevelled bed inside the bunker. 

Unspoken words lingered in the air, the only audible noise coming from their slightly parted mouths as they let out slow, steady breaths. 

“Archie why are we here?” Betty asked, eyes transfixed at the ceiling above. 

“I don’t know” Archie replied honestly.  


“But it’s nice right?”.

Betty turned her head to face him, a gentle smile tugging at her pink lips, daring eyes flickering to his lips and back. 

He reached out tentatively for her hand, and she wrapped her own around his without any hesitation. 

Their hands were clasped so tightly together, that Archie could feel the thumping of her vein against his callus palm. 

Her finger traced gently across the side of his hand, the pores on his skin making note of how soft and warm her finger felt against them.

“We should talk” Archie said after awhile, taking Betty by surprise.

“Talk?”.

“Yeah, about... us” Archie shifted uncomfortably under her confused gaze, their hands breaking apart as he sat up. 

Betty followed suit, placing her hands on top of her knees, "What is there to say?". 

Archie frowned momentarily, "Betty we aren't seriously going to ignore what happened-".

"No, no of course not" Betty shook her head.  


"But everything just feels strange and confusing right now Arch". 

"What does it mean? What we did..." Archie trailed off, his eyes finding their way to hers. 

"I... I don't know. It's not right, we shouldn't-".

"But we _did_ \- we _do_. We keep doing _this_ Betty. Finding ourselves with eachother when we aren't supposed to- I can't ignore it anymore" Archie admitted, exhaling loudly. 

"Neither can I" Betty trailed off, eyes averting his persistent gaze.

"But I _love_ Jughead".

"And I _love_ Veronica" he replied, jaw slack.

He paused, conscious of his next words. "But I'm not-".

Betty's figure moved quickly, startling him.

”Don't do this Arch, please" She pleaded, her back to him as she occupied her mind by re-stacking some old papers on the table.

"Betty" Archie frowned, "We can't keep running away, pretending things don't happen, that we don't feel things-".

"Why couldn’t you have loved me when I asked you, Archie. Why now, why now when we have our soulmates-“

“Veronica is _not_ my soulmate, I thought she was for a time. But Betty... the way I feel _with_ you, _for_ you, it’s worlds ahead of what I feel for Veronica...“.

“Don’t” Betty pleaded, hands stilling at her sides.

“Don’t what?” Archie responded heatedly. 

“Tell the truth? This wasn’t just a kiss- you don’t kiss a friend like that” Archie concluded. " The quicker we start accepting this the better”.

“ _This?_ ” She frowned, the whites of her shrinking. 

“There is no this. Maybe we're just confused, and we- we always feel safe with eachother you know? Maybe it was in the moment, maybe it wasn't. I don't know what we're supposed to do”.

Her words plucked away at Archie's self assurance, but he didn’t deter him from getting his point across.

“I'm confused to, this feeling- I can't explain it but, it's overwhelming and scary and it isn't going away. Betty I know it sucks, I know we're with other people, and I know it's a mess. I know the timings all wrong. But where’s the rule book on when the right time is-“ he was breathless, cheeks flushed, palms layered in a nervous sweat.

Betty acknowledged his truth with a small nod of her head, but still her eyes danced around his.

"I just know that your all I think about Betty. I keep thinking about us- I can't stop" Archie admitted, a frown of remorse filling out his face. 

He was with Veronica, he shouldn't feel this way. But he does, and he doesn't know how to get the feelings that have stirred inside of him to go away.

"Me either" Betty agreed, calming herself down enough to sit beside him again. 

"I like this, I like being with you. But... my thoughts are just all muddled up into a pile at the back of my brain, and I’m not sure I want to go through it yet Arch".

"Maybe we should give it a few days and meet back up. Maybe we need some time apart to think about things. Clear our heads, figure out what we feel, and what we want" Betty suggested, foot tapping nervously off the floor.

"Yeah, okay" Archie agreed, taking his hand and placing it on her thigh. 

"For what it's worth Betty, I know how hard this is, but just promise you'll think about this, about us?".

"I will, I promise" Betty smiled briefly, placing her hand over his as he gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. 

* * *

It had been two days, two days of silence as they agreed to think about what to do next.

Two days of Archie strumming his guitar, scribbling notes down every chance he got, his inspiration Betty of course.

_It had always been Betty._

But Archie was still so confused, questions swarming his head.

Why did he have to love the girl next door? Why wasn't Veronica it for him?

Why did he reject Betty that night? Why did he have to kiss her? Why did he have the hot, yearning, overpowering, urge to kiss her?

_All the time._

"Life's not fair son" Fred used to tell him, growing up, it's a phrase Archie had heard alot.

His Dad, like always was right, life isn't fair.

Archie had come to the realisation that he loved his bestfriend, in a way he shouldn't.

But he was still figuring out how it all happened, or if that was the catch, the piece of the puzzle he'd been _missing_ all this time.

That he'd always loved her this way, he just chose to suppress it because he thought it was best for everyone.

But he needed to think about it, long and hard. Because this wasn't just some girl, this was Betty.

_His Betty._

He'd never want Betty to feel that she was the easy option, or his second choice. That his life would be simple and peaceful, the typical _suburban_ life if they got together.

Because she was more than that, being with her wasn't the easy option, it was scary, terrifying.

 _One_ mistake, _one_ small little blip and that could be it, their lifelong friendship, those years of feelings and memories they had shared, would just combust into nothingness, and become another statistic of a failed relationship.

He didn't want that, not with Betty.

But they wouldn't be some statistic, Archie had decided. They were two people, meant to be together, but their timing was just never _right_. 

Betty was grown when he was not, and by the time Archie was ready, she'd found someone else to love. But maybe _now_ was their time.

_She still loved him, right?_

_~_

It was two days of Betty finding her old diaries and beginning to think back to simpler times, when they were just little Betty and little Archie, the cute next door neighbours.

Like when Archie proposed to her with the red heart ring that she still keeps in the bottom draw of her jewellery box.

Being with Archie surfaced old wounds that for periods of time Betty forgets about, until something trips her memory, and the floodgates open before she has a chance to react.

The fear of not being enough, not being the same girl he loved when they were in second grade, the girl he wanted to marry.

Maybe I'm to _different_ , maybe I'm not what he thinks I am anymore.

What if he doesn't love me? And its just _nostalgia_ , because everything's changing and he's scared.

Betty was uncertain on many aspects of her and Archie's _thing_ , but she knew deep down it wasn't nostalgia, not for her at least.

Nostalgia wouldn't flood your senses with an underlying need, a desperate need to _feel_ him, _taste_ him, _hear_ him, _see_ him, _smell_ him.

It wouldn't make her feel like she was at home when his arms engulfed her from both sides and pulled their chests close together.

His rejection still wouldn't sting. If she'd truly gotten over him, had her feelings truly disappeared, she wouldn't feel any of those things, because they shouldn't be important.

_But they are._

She still remembers the words he hummed, and the strums of his guitar when she felt the tears begin to brim her lash line.

She still feels the painful burning in her palms as her nails drew blood.

_She was the nice girl, always the nice girl. But it was too much- too fast._

"I'm sorry" She whimpered.

Not used to Archie being the one to make her upset, for her tear stained face to avoid looking at him.

She still remembers his voice when he called after her, and the sound of the grass underneath his shoes as he ran behind her.

_She shouldn't remember it, but she does._

* * *

Their second meeting came around much quicker than either one of them had anticipated.

Archie sat nervously on the edge of the bed inside the bunker, anxiously fidgeting as he waited for his bestfriend to arrive.

She was already 10 minutes late, which was very _un-_ Betty like.

The sound of the hatch opening caught Archie's attention and he suddenly felt dizzy.  
  
“Hey” Betty smiled tentatively, eyes flickering between Archie and the guitar sat beside him.  
  
“Hey, have you.. had time to think?” He asked, with a hopeful grin.  
  
She paused, before taking a seat opposite him “Honestly Arch, I still feel... confused“.  
  
Archie took a steady breathe "I know, I understand. But you know things can't go back to the way they were, right?".

He was right, of course he was. But Betty was to busy drowning in silent denial to agree. 

When Betty didn't respond, Archie grabbed his guitar, "I want to play you something".

His words seemed to pluck Betty out of whatever trance she was in, "What is it?" She asked. 

"A song I wrote" and then after a beat " _For you_ ". 

Betty's insides felt queasy, and she had to stop herself from wanting to lean over and drape herself over his shoulder as he began to play.

His fingers started to move, and the sound of a beautiful melody began to bounce off the walls within the bunker. 

_There's no warning_   
_When everything changes_   
_You let down your guard_   
_And I saw something strange_   
_I thought, She's not made for this world_   
_And neither am I_   
_Cause you make me-_

"Arch" Betty said, a shaky hand signalling him to stop as she rose up quickly from her chair. 

Archie immediately placed his guitar down, "You don't like it?" He asked, eyes pitted with insecurity. 

"No, no- I love it. But that's why I had to stop you" Betty muttered. 

Archie frowned, not understanding what she meant.

"Just trust me, please. We'll figure this out" His words came out strangled, like he was begging.

Betty turned away, but she was still able to see him in her peripheral vision. "We can't do this".

“Is what I'm asking you to think about unfair and shitty- yeah, it is” Archie admitted, eyes zeroing in on Betty's still silhouette. 

“Is it wrong for me to ask you to potentially consider giving up what you have with Jughead for me, maybe.. but I also know if you and him, and me and Veronica were meant to be, we wouldn't be here right now. We wouldn't do the things _we_ do".

His observation was no _un_ -Archie like, it took Betty briefly by surprise. For once, he was the observant one, the one reeling off the hard truths of their situation.

“Is it wrong I’m asking you to revisit the time I hurt you, the time I rejected you and you looked at me like I’d ripped your heart out with my bare hands-“.

“You did” Betty muttered, all fight vanishing from her small voice. 

“You did hurt me Arch, but I got over it, didn’t I?” She said, trying with all her will to sound convincing.

“Well I didn’t” Archie replied without missing a beat.

She felt unarmed, like all the shields she’d spent years rebuilding had just crumbled into tiny ashes, and the part of her that stilled harboured the hurt from his rejection manifested inside her head.

Being with Jughead gave her comfort, it was something she knew and was familiar with.

The thought of being with Archie left her slightly terrified, it was something new although it had been there, laying stagnant for more years than she had even known of Jughead's existence.

“I know that I hurt you Betty, and you know I’m sorry. But I'd do it all again. I've always loved you, but you were always out of my reach. If I told you I loved you like _that_ on that night, where would we be now?" He asked.

Betty shrugged, a hand rubbing at her temple. Too many emotions and thoughts, too many feelings overwhelming her thought process.

"I never wanted to hurt you and I _knew_ I would. I was young and naive and above all else, I didn’t know what I wanted, I didn’t want to risk loosing what _we_ had- it’s taken me time Betty".

He took a hasty breath before continuing. "Time to push past my insecurities and embrace the way you make me feel. I feel good with you, I feel things for you that I've never felt with anyone else, _ever_ “.

Betty turned on her heel, “What about my Mom, your Mom- everyone- they won’t understand Arch”.

“No one seemed to care when it was fake, why should they care now?” Archie said, placing a limp hand on his hip. 

"Also, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Why should it matter Betty, _why_ does it have to matter?".

He made points, but he missed one very important factor.

"They didn't care because they thought Jug was dead- If I... if _we_ pursue this, there's no going back" Betty warned.

Archie swallowed, "There was no going back for me the second we kissed in my garage". 

Betty avoided his abrasive stare, because if she looked at him, and saw the reassurance seeping from beyond his irises, and the hope that was etched into the little lift of his lips, it would be enough to pull her away from the guilt and the worry.

It would overwhelm her love for Jughead like a tidal wave on a stormy nights sea. It would make her forget about the implications, the pain it would cause to the people around them.

And for a few unforgiving seconds, she didn't care about anything else. 

_ Just them.  _

But then her eyes glanced around the place they were and images of Jughead asking her if fake dating Archie had made any old feelings resurface.

She told him no, she'd lied. 

This was to much.

Too fucking much for her. 

She couldn’t do it.

Not now.

Not like this. 

“We can’t” she cried, voice shaky. 

“Are you crying because you know I’m right, or because you don’t feel the same?”.

“Arch” she choked, the colour draining from her face.

“If you don’t feel the same as me Betty, say it. _Please_ , I’ll understand, I just need you to say it, I need to hear you say it. Say you _don’t_ love me, that you don't feel something”.

Her lips momentarily parted, but nothing but the sound of her unsteady breath spluttered out.

Archie took her unspoken words for what they were, _she did love him._

"If I tell you I love you, will it change things?" he asked shakily, his head grappling with his mouth and what it was about to say.

Betty looked away, face pained, feelings conflicted. 

"Because I do Betty, I love you, I _always_ have" Archie said, his eyes submerging into hers like fire meeting ice.

“Does it make us bad people? For feeling what we feel?” he asked flippantly, arms shrugging hopelessly, the edges of his eyes growing moist. 

“Of course it does, I can’t hurt them like this!” Betty said frantically, hands animated at her sides.

"You think I want to hurt Veronica, or Jughead?" Archie snapped, although his tone held no malice.

Betty faltered, eyelashes clamping shut tightly to avoid seeing him look so uneasy. 

"We can't help the way _we_ feel" He reasoned, extending his hand for her to hold. 

"Staying with them because we feel we have to, because we don't want to hurt them isn't the right thing to do Betty. We're only delaying the inevitable".

"The inevitable being what?" Betty muttered, taking his hand in hers hesitantly.

"You know what" Archie replied softly.

New tears formed in Betty's red eyes, and she withdrew her hand from Archie's grip as quickly as she had placed it there.

“I love Jughead" Her voice cracked, lips trembling.

"And you **love** Veronica" after a painful beat " _don’t you?”_.

Archie wasn’t sure if it was a question _or_ a statement. He wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince him, _or_ herself. 

Her eyes searched his desperately pleading with him to say he did. It would make it easier, Archie was sure of it, but for whom, he wasn't so sure.

But he didn't say it, because it wasn't true anymore. He loved Veronica, cared for her deeply, but he was in love with his bestfriend.

“You can love more than one person Betty, I love Veronica of course I do, I love Jughead too, but I love you more. I’ve always loved _you_ more. I'm _in_ love with you”. 

Betty shook her head slowly, eyes moving erratically as she processed his words.

“We can’t” She repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

Her throat was burning, itching, her brain was screaming for her to shut up. This is what she'd always wanted, Archie to tell her he loves her, he _really_ loves her. 

But it didn't mean anything now, she had Jughead and he had Veronica and it wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

“Betty I'm breaking up with Veronica” he began. 

“I can’t be with her, when all I can think about is you, when all I want is you. It’s not fair to her, she deserves someone who can give themself to her completely, and without hesitation. Someone who loves her, and only her”. 

"You need to think about this, really think about it" Betty warned him, her heart beating so fast it overwhelmed her other senses. 

The crease between his brows twitched “I don’t need anymore time to think, I’ve spent years thinking". 

"I’m _done_ thinking Betty” He ran a flustered hand through his hair, waiting anxiously for her response. 

Betty, realising his decision was final took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Arch, but I can't do it. I can't break Jughead's heart like this".

She wiped away at her tears, an uneasy chill greeting the air.

Was she rejecting him? Is this how it feels, to love someone but not be able to give them the answer they want. 

"Whatever this is- _was_ , I just think it would be better for everyone... We're both just confused". 

Everything was a blur to Archie, everything except for the look on Betty's face when she told him, whatever it was they had, was _over_.

Her words seemed so _final_ , so _sure_. But her face screamed anything but.

She looked as though she wanted nothing more but for the ground to swallow her hole. 

And she did. 

It's strange, Betty had been his bestfriend since they were four, yet he hadn't felt as disconnected from her, as he had in that moment.

He wanted to yell at her, tell her she doesn't know what he feels. That he's never been as sure about anything in his life, than the feelings he has for her.

But it was pointless, trying to change her mind was pointless. 

Archie collapsed back onto the bed, no longer able to ignore the suffocating silence that had settled between them. 

"I'm sorry" Betty croaked helplessly, clinging onto the idea they were still bestfriends.

Still just _Betty and Archie._

But she felt the gravitational pull of her bestfriend becoming devoid of emotion and just like that, she knew she’d lost apart of him. 

Betty’s right foot stepped forward hesitantly towards him, but Archie avoided her gaze like the plague. 

He shifted uncomfortably under her stare, teeth clamped tightly shut to avoid him saying anything else that would make this any harder than it already was.

He didn't want to talk about his not so new love that he had for his best friend anymore.

Because it wouldn't change a thing.

Not a single damn thing.

"So am I Betty" Archie muttered, meaning it far more than the blonde haired girl would ever know.

He gathered his beloved guitar up and placed it inside the case, eyes glancing at the lyrics to her song that was tucked down the side. 

He cleared his throat, slamming the case shut with a surge of frustration.

Betty's lips parted, as though she was going to say something.

Archie hung on desperately with a small slither of hope, that she might take back her decision and fall into his arms the way he foolishly imagined she would. 

But she never uttered a word, almost like she decided against saying whatever it was she was originally going to.

Archie eventually built the courage to meet her eyes, and he hated the way her tears had left trails of black down her cheeks.

He wanted to touch her, use his thumb to wipe the marks away. 

But he couldn't bring himself to be rejected for a _second time_. 

"Goodbye Betty" He whispered, as he slipped past her swiftly and without a sound.

As the bunker door closed behind him, she let out a uncontrolled sob, collapsing onto the bed, the smell of him still lingering on the sheets. 

Betty didn't know why, but it sounded like so much more than just a **_goodbye._**

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think below. Hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
